A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from a man who asked about my trauma-clearing services. He got my business card from a friend here in the region. Let’s call him Ben.
We talked for a while, and I understood Ben’s challenges well, of which there were a lot, to say the least! And where he wanted to go and what he desired to achieve. He desired nothing less than reinventing himself, no way to return to his old job, and he suffered from most PTSD symptoms.
The source of most of these challenges was unresolved traumas.
No doubt. Prenatal and birth trauma were obvious, followed by severe childhood trauma. Based on that, he attracted more traumas in his adult life, business, and private relationships. “Old trauma = current drama” was again absolutely accurate in his situation.
Within 30 minutes on the call, he said yes to a tailored trauma-clearing program, focused on his specific needs, 1:1 sessions, starting the following week. I emailed him the order confirmation and invoice and set up the Zoom meetings, etc. We talked about a smaller 4-digit amount.
A few days later, I met him at the local vegetable shop. He explained why the payment was difficult and why he needed a few days more to complete it. I said, no problem. Do what you need to do, and we’ll see each other next Wednesday.
The following Monday, my phone rang.
Ben was on the phone. He started explaining why he couldn’t follow through with the trauma-clearing program.
As I listened to him, almost all problems seemed to come up simultaneously, from the broken dishwasher to a damaged car, followed by extra payments he needed to make elsewhere.
I am usually not interested in people’s explanations of why they cannot do what they committed themselves to do. Also, not in this case.
In Europe, a private customer can step back from a contract that has not started within 14 days. So, he could choose this option for himself. I felt uncomfortable when he told me many reasons why he could not do what he committed himself to do a few days ago. And no, I didn’t really believe in these stories. And it’s legally not even necessary to give me any reasons.
No, the story doesn’t end here. And it’s not about me being sad about a lost trauma-clearing client. In fact, my 1:1 spots are very rare. That’s not my point!
Read on…
A couple of days later, when I was again at the vegetable shop to pick up my weekly vegetable box, I met his girlfriend. She is pure divine truth and told me:
“I’m so sorry that Ben had to cancel the trauma-clearing with you. I hope it’s only postponed and not canceled. You know, it was this coffee machine with all these bells and whistles, and we just bought it! And it was about the same amount.”
A coffee machine for a 4-digit amount in Ben’s situation, wow…
As you know me, I’m rarely speechless. In this case, I was. First, my intuition was accurate; all of Ben’s (unwanted) explanations were lies. I hate that. Integrity is essential to me, especially in a client -relationship working on clearing traumas.
More critical is what choices he made for himself and why
From being committed to solving the root cause of his life challenges, his past unresolved traumas, he finally chose convenience after his girlfriend brought up the deal with the coffee machine.
He didn’t only lie to me. More importantly, he told himself the same lies. And that’s even worse!
He walked away from his commitment to himself to transform his life for the better and chose convenience instead, plus to please his girlfriend.
Apparently, he avoided the conversation with his girlfriend about why he made another choice to change his life for the better instead of investing in a big coffee machine.
Avoidance is a crucial trauma symptom.
Another trauma symptom is not standing up for himself and being afraid of what others say or think.
And therefore, not taking action and pleasing others. Or taking back the right actions that would turn around his life.
Investing in yourself pays off all the time.
Investing in yourself will come back in multiple ways you cannot imagine.
Instead, investing in a consumer product is just – nice. Sure, it will hopefully produce tasty coffee. That’s convenient. But it’s not life-changing. It’s not transformative. It’s not solving any of the problems Ben initially wanted to solve. And that’s the point…
So, my questions for you
Do you want to clear your unresolved trauma to transform your life? Or do you want to stay where you currently are, with all the challenges remaining? But a bit more convenient, with better coffee?The choice is yours. And the responsibility for your choice is yours as well.
If you want to clear your past traumas, check out what you can achieve with trauma-clearing here, and book your call
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